Blog Archives

ding dong thing

2/25/2022

Donny was an actor. His best roles were the ones where he played the billionaire villain trying to take over the world.
As the only actor in the bloat, Donny was always being asked to speak at weddings.
Donny hated hippopotamus weddings. There were so many of them. He especially hated that propeller tail thing the males did when they were trying to get someone to dance.
"Smelly beasts," thought Donny.
But, as an actor, he never let on. He just smiled, told jokes and kept the conversation moving.
Donny was an actor. And a very good one at that. THE END

This picture and story was inspired by Felix Laband's song Ding Dong Thing off the album Deaf Safari.

rock the casbah

2/23/2022

"Let me tell you a joke, Mick. Knock, knock?"
"Come in."
"Ha ha, very funny. Don't be clever. Knock..."
"You want fries or baked potato?"
Joe looked at the waitress in the red skirt standing at his window.
"Friday fries, of course, love," he said.
The waitress took the menu's and rolled off.
"Best fries at the Casbah," said Mick.
"Best fries," said Joe. "Now, KNOCK. KNOCK?"
"This better be good," said Mick. "Who's there?"
"Europe."
"Europe who? Oh, I get it - you're a poo."
"Gets me every time," laughed Joe. THE END

This picture and story was inspired by The Clash's song Rock The Casbah off the album Combat Rock.

Le Poinconneur des Lilas

2/17/2022

Ilan left a voice note.
He told me about a ticket puncher at Lilas station who makes holes, little holes, still more holes. Holes for the second class. Holes for the first class. But that's not the strange part of the story.
This man, the ticket puncher, has a secret he's never told anyone. A gang of thieves once robbed a bank in 1978, the day Jacques Brel died, and hid the money in a lavatory in Lilas station.
The ticket puncher knows which lav it is and when the time is right, he's going to find that money and take the next train out of there - punching his own ticket to freedom. THE END

The picture and story was inspired by Serge Gainsbourg's song Le Poinconneur des Lilas.

outer sunset

2/15/2022

"What were the skies like when you grew up?"
"They were big skies, full of fluffy little clouds ghosting by like animals in a felt zoo.
"And when Ra rode his great golden barge across the heavens all the little fishes and insects and kitty cats and reptiles came out to gawp at him and give praise."
"Even the dragons?"
"Most of the dragons - the sun ones and the star ones. Not the moonies. And not Zhulong, the Torch Dragon."
"Why not the Torch Dragon?"
"Because he knew that a Summer's day was nothing more than a blink in time". THE END

This picture and story was inspired by Tycho's song Outer Sunset off the album Simulcast.

wires

2/13/2022

Sergeant Foulplay blew his nose into a hanky and checked the contents. Satisfied with the presentation of his snot, he continued.
"For a man so interested in wireless transmission there are a lot of wires about the place. What's this contraption?"
"Death ray," said Nikola, not looking up.
"Does it work?"
"Try it and see."
Sergeant Fouplay decided to put it down.
"I've got my eye on you, Inventor," he said.
"Which one?" said Nikola.
"Both, so no funny business, you hear."
With that Sergeant Foulplay pocketed his snotty hanky and left. THE END

This picture and story was inspired by Owiny Sigoma's song Wires.

auberge

2/10/2022

The place was called Chateau Experience de Mort Imminente after the pink plane that crashed in the backyard and nearly took out the inn. A few months later Jean-Luc, the owner, painted the front door red. He wasn't superstitious but an old woman with dreamcatcher earrings told him red doors brought luck.
The mountaineers that came to stay said they looked for the wreckage from the top of Mont Jolie, but they never saw it. Nor did they see Jean-Luc beat his personal best of 58 keepy-uppies on the day the heavens opened and delivered the worst storm the townsfolk could remember. THE END

This picture and story was inspired by Chris Rea's song Auberge off the album Auberge.

Electricity

2/10/2022

Aboobacar always took the camel train past the broken windmill. He liked looking at it. The broken windmill gave him hope - a certain kind of dreamy perspective. Not like those brazen power lines that ran from horizon to horizon.
"Demons!" spat out his Uncle. "Purveyors of invisible disease."
"It's electricity, Uncle," said Aboobacar. "It heats your porridge."
"My porridge, pah! My porridge can go cold."
"Your porridge does go cold. You should get up sooner."
"I'm old. Like a broken windmill."
"Just the way I like you." THE END

This picture and story was inspired by Guy Garvey's song Electricity off the album Courting The Squall

put the message in the box

2/9/2022

Open the box. There's a message in there.
It says jump on the 'clap-boom-bap' train and hitch a ride to the stars.
First you'll see the magical horse, Dame Unicorn. She's pointing to a magical ice cream with weird flavours. The pink is noodles. The orange is toast. But the green flavour is... worms. WORMS?? Blegh!
Don't worry about the goose. He's a loose goose. The sort of goose that pops balloons just to make kids cry.
Head for the bumbling elephant instead. It's waiting under the 'whoopee' rainbow, ready to take you away - into your dreams if you dare. THE END

This picture and story was inspired by World Party's song Put A Message In The Box off the album Goodbye Jumbo

Sheila Take a bow

2/8/2022

Sheila was a whale. Her favourite game was chasing rainclouds. She liked the big, white ones that rose high into the sky. As she floated under them, Sheila watched their fluffy bellies turn silver grey. This meant they were filling up with moisture. A dark, heavy cloud was a raincloud.
Sheila loved rain. She knew a little secret that many busy whales had forgotten. And the secret was this...
When rain falls on your face it washes away your sadness. This is why Sheila loved rain. It made her feel happy inside.
"Take a bow, Sheila," said the raindrops. "We love you too." THE END

This picture and story was inspired by The Smith's Sheila Take A Bow single.

Build a rocket boys!

2/8/2022

Mr. Russel called the boys the peddle pests. They loved cycling across his well manicured lawn on their BMX bicycles.
One day he decided to give them a project. He opened his big, creaky garage doors. Inside were broken bits of transistor radios, washing machine repair parts, whirly things and coloured tubes, flashy strings of Christmas lights and swizzle sticks with paper flamingoes on top.
"There you go," he said. "Build a rocket, boys!"
And that is what they did. They built a glorious rocket. And at twilight they climbed into it and shot off to the moon. THE END

This picture and story was inspired by Elbow's song Lippy Kids off the album Build A Rocket Boys!