no

I come on a string
of ghostly horses
and eagerly anticipate a kiss.

You say / No,
first show me what presents you bring.

So I unravel all I have.
There are forest fires
and ponies,
ropes made from fantasies
and a thousand adoring citizens.
There are wishes
and chestnuts,
slippers to wear in the fields
and corpses from the mouths of chocolate bunnies.

You say / No.

So I unravel more.
There are oceans
and llamas,
comedies and dramas,
there is the North Star and the South Pole,
a bowl of devil toffees
and sneezes that look like meteor showers.
There are crackers
and whistles,
a ride on a magic kettle 
and tickets to Carlsen and Caruana.

You say / No.

So I unravel more.
I unravel my heart
and my guts,
my veins and my skin and my nightmares,
my will to live and my spirit.

You say / Ok.

But I am spent,
bruised like a fog.
I hang in tatters, 
and you say / it's over.
And then I realize the startling truth -
you never wanted me after all,
you just wanted the thought of me.  
(From the Notes For A Train Ride anthology)